


do you think we could be soulmates?

by rogueseas



Series: what's love other than constantly trying? [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Established Relationship, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Post-Break Up, because am i me without angst, i don't know what kind of universe, i hate open endings but here i am, maybe i'll elaborate on it someday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22131685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueseas/pseuds/rogueseas
Summary: “i found you of my own volition, kuroo-san,” kei never stops thinking. “i don’t love you because i was meant to,” he murmurs softly, it feels a bit like melody in kuroo’s ears, “i love you because i just do.”or,day one: soulmates
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: what's love other than constantly trying? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593064
Kudos: 44





	do you think we could be soulmates?

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be for #shipember2019 in november and it was! but i only reached until day 4 and it's already january 2020 so i might as well use the same theme but not necessarily adhere to it being confined within a month. 
> 
> also, i decided i'd separate everything because it makes me antsy that's it used to be in just one whole work SJKJSSS, i want to write about other fandoms, too. i think. anyway, ignore that and just enjoy! thanks.

_“kuroo-san, do you think—you and i—could we be one another’s soulmates?”_

as far as either of them were concerned, kuroo and kei had always been realists. they used to laugh at the concept of soulmates, _how incredibly childish,_ kei would say. kuroo would laugh with him, quietly agreeing, before pulling kei closer and nuzzling his nose on the younger boy’s cheeks, tickling him. kei would swat him away but would indulge him in the end.

_“i found you of my own volition, kuroo-san,” kei never stops thinking. “i don’t love you because i was meant to,” he murmurs softly, it feels a bit like melody in kuroo’s ears, “i love you because i just do.”_

_kuroo remembers laughing, a deep rumble that starts in his chest and echoes all across his body as he brings kei impossibly closer. “yeah, yeah,” he says, “and i love you, too.” and then he would reach out to kiss kei on the forehead, on the nose, on the cheeks, on the lips—feeling terribly, irrevocably besotted._

  
  


the bell by the door indicating someone entered the café rings and kuroo looks up to see kei by the door—he proceeds to buy himself hot chocolate (kuroo doesn’t hear but he’d known him long enough to know what he usually ordered) and marvels quietly as he watches the younger slightly brighten at seeing a strawberry shortcake on the glass where the desserts were displayed.

he smiles at the cashier as he pays, obviously in a relatively good mood—and kuroo is struck with the _want_ to be that person behind the counter. kuroo brings his own cup of coffee to his mouth and takes a sip before glancing down at his papers, subtly paying attention to how the younger boy proceeds to sit on one of the couches by the window, right exactly where kuroo could see him (and apparently, vice versa).

it takes a little over five to ten minutes for kei to notice him, and when he does, he looks surprised—as though they hadn’t been living in the same city for years (although that may not necessarily be incorrect). said boy stands to approach him, he brings his cake and kuroo would laugh except,

“kuroo-san, it’s been a while.” he says—softly, uncertainly—and kuroo laments how kei used to alter between sounding annoyed and sounding breathless—never unsure, at least not with kuroo.

“it has,” he replies, humor in his voice because he does not know how else to speak, “i see you still love your cakes.” he doesn’t say he’s the one who made them, that he works here, that he owns this place, that the desserts all have strawberries in them for a specific reason. in turn, kei smiles, just a little—a slight upturn of the mouth, kuroo refrains from saying he misses the bigger ones.

“go sit.” kei does.

“your hair’s longer now,” kuroo observes. 

kei laughs, softly, “yeah, it’s new.” kuroo smiles. 

“how have you been?” kei asks. because there’s nothing else to talk about—at least not ones they’re ready to talk about.

“good, good,” he replies, “i’ve been…well,” he rubs his chin, because he doesn’t know where else to put his hands—he’s used to reaching out to hold someone else’s, “you?”

“i’ve been good as well,” kei says, gently, quietly—not daring to reveal any more than he has to, because he’s no longer under any obligation to tell kuroo about himself. because kuroo hasn’t been in kei’s life in nearly three years.

  
  


_“kuroo-san,” kei says, he’s clutching onto kuroo’s arm a little tightly. kuroo turns to look at him, “hm?”, he says, quickly turning back to write his paper again._

_“kuroo-san?”_

_“yeah.”_

_kuroo could feel kei purse his lips from behind him. kei never stops thinking._

_“kuroo san,”_

_“hm?”_

_“do you think—you and i—could we be soulmates?”_

_he laughs, a deep rumble that begins in his chest—quietly, kei lets go of his arm_ (he didn’t notice) _—and spreads across his body._

_“no, soulmates are silly.”_

_“hmm. you’re right,” he says mutely, quietly_. kuroo wishes he’d noticed earlier.

  
  


they stay in quiet silence, and kuroo wonders when it started the first time—when comfortable silence turned into something empty, when silence turned into something that took kei away from him, when silence rendered kei quiet, up until he learned to stop talking to kuroo altogether.

  
  


_“i think we should stop this,”_

_kuroo tilts his head, “are you tired? you should sit down, i’m about to finish—”_

_“i meant this, we should stop. kuroo-san, we should break up.”_

  
  


“the flowers,” kei begins, after a while, “the sunflowers, in the park we used to go to, i saw them. they’re beautiful.” _the sunflowers, the ones we planted before we stopped being us,_ he means.

“they really are,” he agrees, smiling at kei softly. 

  
  


_“i just don’t understand how it’s not working, kei, can you,” he quietly notes how his hands are shaking as he tries to reach out for kei, even as he’s right there, “can you please explain to me, we’re… we’ve been… haven’t we been okay—”_

_“i’m not,” kuroo stops on his tracks, “i’m not okay. and i don’t think it’s kind to hold onto you when i can’t even handle myself.”_

_kei never stops thinking. it takes kuroo a relatively long time to come to terms with the fact kei doesn’t know how to—to stop thinking. even then, it still comes as an unwelcome surprise when it manifests. the thing about thinking is that when you give them too much power, it gains the force to hurt you, and everyone else around you._

_it doesn’t hurt that kei is stopping all of this—whatever this may be, whatever this could be (it doesn’t hurt that much, at the least). it hurts knowing that kei is breaking apart, albeit looking strong and steady, and kuroo has no power to stop it from happening._

_so he takes a step back, he says, “i’m here if you need me, kei, you know that,” but the thing about kei is that he can’t—he doesn’t have the power to let others help him. so he retreats, because it’s the only way he knows how. and then he leaves, just like that._

_kuroo waits, because it’s the only thing he could do. because you can’t keep someone in the same place when they need to go. when they need to grow, even if it means being apart from you._

_so instead, he builds a world where kei could stay when he comes back and could afford to—one of sunflowers and strawberries and hot chocolate and laughter._

  
  


(because _if we were soulmates, then that must mean i can keep you. that must mean i can keep loving you. that must mean that in another life, it’s still going to be you and me. that must mean, that no matter where else we go, we’ll find our way to one another again. that must mean there’s a place in this world for just you and me and everything that we could be together._ )

  
  


“do you think you can afford to love me now?”

“it’s funny that you think i stopped.”

**Author's Note:**

> the way i wrote this is more of, with a vibe that implies not all these things happen in the same timeline. like that last part, that most likely didn't happen in the same timeframe as the coffeeshop, although it's very open to interpretation. i'm just saying that i love krtsk and i'm not That evil to have them separate forever.
> 
> i'm at @[feralsougo](https://twitter.com/feralsougo) on twt!
> 
> 11/6/19.


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